Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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