Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
