Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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