well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
