no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize