yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
