***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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