I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
