no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
