Will you blow on my dice?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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