Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
