babies were throwing up all over the place
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
