I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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