if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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