I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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