Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
