Sponge bath it is.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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