i think i have two assholes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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