I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
