Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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