So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
