oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
