elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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