Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
