so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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