Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
