If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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