I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
