Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
