If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Drake has all the answers
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
