why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
