is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
