why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
