I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
