this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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