you're like a bully in the Christmas story
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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