I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
