To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize