Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The power of my boobs compel you
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
