I will die if light touches me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
