Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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