she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
