have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I believe in your delicious
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
