Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
