Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
