Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
