guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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