Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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