So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
