Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize