her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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