quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
