how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
