Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
