I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize