i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
