Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Damn victory sex feels great
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
