i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
