yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
