I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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