I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize