Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
