Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
