Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
