We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize