Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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