I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
